Greenfield (Slideshow)

Greenfield Ave. & Vicinity (inc. The Run)




Full Screen: ► . . . 4-way arrows (lower rt.)

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Images of Pittsburgh on Flickr

New D-com* Acronyms: Glossary of UTN** Slang

Check out the latest slang making the rounds online/in text messages . . . Don’t be a CO (clueless one) . . . You don’t wanna miss out when she finally lights up your phone with: “TMC...HAK” (Text me cutie...hearts and kisses).

* Digital communications
** Up to the nanny [nanosecond] (“iPhone cases at Target tot UTN!”)


The Glossary is Here:

DSBY – Don’t stop being you (“Wicked fun yest. J. All i cn say is DSBY!”)

DIA – Does it again (“John Stamos DIA!!!”)

DOTI – Don’t overthink it (“DOTI Jill, pls.”)

TMC – Text me cutie

HAK – Hearts and kisses

OTC – On the corner

HTF – Hold the fort

HTP – Hold the phone (“OMG HTP – the mayor’s pissing OTC nr. the F train on 23rd!!!”)

M2W – Mark my words

SS – Some slammin’ (“SS totes at Walmart M2W”)

LMT/K – Lots more to come . . .

YouTube Haiku (No. 1): Lightspeed Medieval

▲ Rebel Brutality in Syria Posing Dilemma in West . . . Video Shows Assad Foes Executing 7 Soldiers After Capture.
— New York Times (Sept. 2013)


Follow me on Twitter

and then follow me to hell

@DevilsInDetails


▼ Somali Rebels Turn to Twitter. Militants waging a guerilla war in Somalia are using social media networks for propaganda purposes.
— New York Times (Dec. 2011)

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Aphorisms

All the world's a stage — but real life is what happens backstage.

Some bowel movements can be life-affirming.

Masturbation is satisfying but uninteresting, like oatmeal.

The road to utopia stops at the Gulag.

There's nothing like doing nothing.

Don’t advertise your insignificance.

In order there is possibility.

Nothing focuses you better than a paycheck.

This sky’s the limit (but the gutter always beckons).

Writing is an affliction.

The Freelancer’s Journal: Tales from the Writing Trade (No. 1)

In a message dated 5/22/2003 ______ writes:
I have to apologize about canceling this Saturday in Brooklyn. I still have the flu, and I thought I would be over it by now.


Subject: Re: My book [Editing job]
Received: Thu, 22 May 2003
From: Adam E.
To: ___________

Please get well soon, and let me know when you can meet at the appointed place.


Subject: Re: My book
Date: 5/23/2003
From: _________
To: Adam E.

Dear Adam,

I'm sorry I lied to you about being sick. The truth is as follows: Five years ago I was renting a room in a house out on _____. My landlady never checked or had her oil burner inspected for six years, and I spent a whole winter breathing in carbon monoxide. Finally, I went berserk and assaulted a man in the subway, thinking he was from outer space. I was sentenced to two years in jail. I'm out now but still on parole, and my parole officer told me yesterday I'm not allowed to go to New York City at all. I'm confined to ____ and ____ counties, so I can't meet you in Brooklyn—much as I would like to.

I didn't want to alarm you with this story, so I just said I was sick. Actually, I'm a very nice guy, an Ivy League graduate. This was my only act of violence ever. And I generally tell the truth (sorry).

If you still want to meet, please let me know. But it would have to be in _____. My parole officer has approved that. I will pay you for your time. This weekend is fine.

What do you think? And feel free to ask any questions you like.

# # #

Need writer, editor, lawyer or. . .
Date: 2003-06-16
Reply to: _____@craigslist.org

anyone in the book biz who can link me to a literary agent who is interested in adventure. My novel is based on a true story, about a group of quasi Marines who are tracking murderous poachers in East Africa. You must like high adventure and not be bothered by a little cursing and some violence. Very good pay. But I will NOT pay up front. Once I sign on with an agent, you will be paid. If you like good, realistic fiction, with a strong feel for Africa, get back with me.

# # #

Need ghostwriter to write my Autobiography
Date: 2003-06-25
Reply to: _____@craigslist.org

Need ghostwriter to write my Autobiography. Required: 1) Watch "Little Big Man", starring Dustin Hoffman; 2) Read "No One Here Gets Out Alive: The Biography of Jim Morrison", by Jerry Hopkins; 3) Respond to this ad with your quoted price for a 500 page manuscript.

The manuscript will turn into a book and movie. Experience with publishing, screenwriting, and the movie business is a big plus!

# # #

Blog Ghost Writer
Date: 2003-07-11
Reply to: _____@craigslist.org

High-end children's furniture website has a job opening for a ghost writer for their blog and other copy. Please send samples of your work: 300-400 words describing baby's room for a boy and 40 words describing a changing table.

Click label below for complete Freelancer’s Journal.

The Freelancer’s Journal: Tales from the Writing Trade (No. 2)

Versatile Writer for Hire:
Never at a Loss for Words

August 19

Business has been slow lately. My last job was a best man’s speech for a guy from Long Island whose brother was getting married. His only instructions to me were: “I wanna see tears.” . . . You don’t have to dig too deep to find the gold in this man—it’s all right there on the surface . . . Let me tell you something about Dave: He doesn’t believe in half measures, or taking the middle ground. Whatever he does, he does it full throttle or not at all.

Four straight days over 95. Worst heat wave all summer. It’s miserable—especially in this place, with no windows in the living room. It must be ten degrees hotter inside. I live right above two restaurants, soul food and Chinese. Sometimes the bathroom smells like roast pork. It’s like living in the belly of a pig . . . Roaches everywhere—on the soap, under the sink. I took down a shelf in the bathroom and unscrewed the brackets; beneath one there were two dead roaches frozen in copulation, one mounted on top of the other.


August 22

I get a lot of inquiries from people who think they have a story to tell, but don’t have the words to tell it. Some of these people have genuinely moving stories, full of sadness and loss. But after hearing so many of these tales, it’s hard not to be cynical. These people never have any money, yet they’re all passionately convinced that their story is so amazing it will make a big splash, and then we can split the profits that will surely roll in. I get so many calls like that.

I politely explain that I operate, without exception, on a straight fee basis—cash paid for time worked. Still, I see the pathos in their stories, and I appreciate that they’re coming to me with a degree of urgency, if not desperation. They’re at the point where all they have left is their own story; all their hopes are riding on it. Before we ever meet, they’ve decided the written word is their best shot at redemption, yet it’s beyond their grasp. They need my words—or some writer’s words—to realize their dreams.

Click label below for complete Freelancer’s Journal.

The Freelancer’s Journal: Tales from the Writing Trade (No. 3)

August 24

I got a call last week from a woman in Rochester with an extreme tale of woe. She raised a son born with muscular dystrophy, and he died at 15. She has another son, an Army officer, who developed a neurological disorder following a tour of duty in the Gulf War. He continues to undergo treatment, although his doctors are still baffled by the condition. It has left him severely debilitated.

The book, as she envisions it, would also include flashbacks to experiences she had as a young Holocaust survivor. And there’s more: her older sister, also a Holocaust survivor, suffered a stroke 10 years ago and has since moved nothing but her lips, right index finger, and eyelids. Supposedly she has all her feeling and comprehension but is “locked in.” When discussing her sister, the woman perked up.

“She’s the primary motivation behind my wanting to write this book. I want it to give hope to others suffering from incurable illnesses. I also want to create a page-turning story that makes the reader feel like he’s reading a novel. Ultimately, my concept is for a book that weaves together tragedy, self-help, and humor.”

“Humor, really?” I said, failing to detect any in what she had just told me.

“Life can be humorous under many strange circumstances, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes, absolutely. I know what you mean. I think the book you’re proposing sounds extraordinary.”

She got the idea in the middle of one of her typical days—taking her son to the hospital, visiting her sister in the nursing home, waiting at the pharmacy to get a prescription filled.

“It just hit me, a voice inside that said, ‘Is this it? What’s the point of it anyway?’ It made me so depressed, but then I realized all of this would make a great book.”

It still surprises me how wildly different these stories are in their details but basically the same in their motivation. They’re part of the endless quest for alchemy and redemption, the urge to make something out of nothing. In this case, transform an obscure, miserable life into a compelling tale, available to the public.

I’ve been led astray and disappointed so often by these people, so I don’t get my hopes up when I hear from them. Still, it’s impossible to remain blasé. There’s a gravity to their schemes, no matter how ridiculous. Any writer who got involved would bear an immense responsibility—giving value to someone’s pain, even facilitating their catharsis.

“Every life needs a mission,” I said to her. “It seems to me this book is yours. Do you have a budget in mind for the writing?”

Not surprisingly, she didn’t have any cash. When I gave her my terms, knowing it was hopeless, I felt something more than pity. I felt remorse, which was unusual. Here’s a woman, I thought, who has more pain than she (or anyone) has room for. Without a book, an absorbing diversion, where’s it all gonna go?

Click label below for complete Freelancer’s Journal